TFHL14: Play-Off Preview - By Tyler Young

Eastern Conference

Rednex vs Colt 45
Ah, of all the series, this one best exemplifies the class, the sophistication, the all-around haute couture of l'esprit de hockey. The Rednex, the Colt 45'S - to say it is like speaking a Botacelli painting, or another tour de force from Kid Rock. Yes, for all ya Hillbillies, Hicks, and Rubes out there, we give you the one and only Pick-Up Truck Classic. The Rednex have ascended to the top of the East through some good moves by GM Ambrose Garvey and deservedly took the conference this year. They don't have a lot of depth, but who needs depth when you have the top four they do, led by Rocket Richard winner Alexei Kovalev. The Colt 45's similarly made it into the playoff by virtue of some savy moves; GM Justin Mastrangelo pulled-off a significant coup and playoff-making deal by getting Marty Turco and Patrice Bergeron from the Saints for Pascal Leclaire. However, in this battle of Middle America, those of the red neck should take it. Rednex in four.

Owls vs Clubbers
The Owls have a couple big hooters, that's for sure. Mike Modano and Joe Thornton are the biggest one-two combo in the league, the problem is that the Owls don't have much depth. But the Clubbers have a nice pair of knockers as well with Jarome Iginla and Pavol Demitra. This may turn into an interesting series, but it will likely end up being rather shallow. The Owls in five.

Hurricanes vs Saints
I'll bet Saint's GM and league commish Geoff Young is running around in circles and shouting: "Yeaaah!" The Saints are no doubt revelling at the chance to know-off their longtime nemesis; this is the TFHL's longest running and most heated rivalry - although it has sorted of been put on simmer for the last while, this may just be the thing needed to make it boil again. The Saints are lead by Jason Spezza, while former Cup champs the Hurricanes still have one of the most formidable rosters in the league. This series will come down to grit. Here's a question for GM Young: do you pull up you hot-shot young goalie, Pascal Leclaire, and give him another shot? His talent will likely be required, yet his five hole is a big liability. Canes in six.

Spirit VS Aces
This should be the most watched series in the East. The Aces and the Spirit have oodles of awesome, bronzed young talent, plus two of the oldest, moldiest veteran GMs in the league. The Spirit are compelled by Vlad "Who?" Orszagh, Zach "the Dakota Kid" Parise, Krys "If I had a middle name with a K it would be really embarrasing" Kolanos, and Marian "it's Ha-SAH" Hossa. In the red corner, the Aces have so much talent, one must wonder why they aren't sitting at the top of league: Ilya Kovalchuk, Ziggy Palffy, Paul Kariya, Vaclav Nedorost; and then the kids, my goodness!, the kids: Dominic D'Amour, Andy Berenzweig, Alex Kostitsyn, and Tim Brent. I hate to break the Spirit's, well, spirit, but it's all Aces. Aces in five.



Western Conference

Wheat Kings vs Canucks
The Wheat Kings? The Wheat Kings? What the...? Yes, you can rightly say that Mr. "I've been in a coma the last two months." It seems being at the bottom of the league is good for something - it forces the team's GM to deal, and deal, and put together a team that can go from .389 to .613 in fifty games and handedly win the President's Trophy. What is perhaps most interesting about this series is that it features some of the best young talent in the game: the Canucks' Jonas Johansson and the Wheaties' Dmitri Kazionov tore-up the league this year; also featured are Matt Jones, Eric Staal, Jakub Hulva, Steve Bernier, and Dany Heatly. It's hard to see the Wheaties falling, but the Canucks are the sort of team that could pull-off an upset. That being said, the Kings have handled the Canucks quite easily this season. Wheat Kings in six.

Achaeans vs Renegades
The hardy men of Hellas may have nothing to fear in this battle. The Renegades can claim a victory just by making it out of the 88 game epic struggle which we in the Western Conference call the regular season - but like poor Aeneas, they will be renegades indeed, and off to find their future. The Achaeans, although with some rust starting to show on their armour, boast four lines of rolling thunder and some of the finest snipers in the league. Dan Cloutier has never been a bettin' man's favourite, but all he needs to do is let in less goals than his team scores - simple enough, right? Achaeans in four.


Pain vs Blackhawks
Ah the Pain, the Pain... After starting the season tormenting the league, the defending champs looked like they had this season in a sinch; then fate entered and they started to lose - going through a troubling second half, watching their reign of terror collapse in the face of the little upstart corporals, apply named Kings. That being said, this series is the Pain's to lose - but they may just lose it: the Hawks are proven playoff competitors and just the team to take on the Pain. The Pain could find themselves dispatched to the guilatine, but with their talent they will likely live to die another day. Pain in six.


Blades vs Ice
A High Noon Showdown at the OK Economy as the two Saskatoon rivals go at. Needless to say, the Blades were the surpise of the season, consistently playing at the top of the West and in the end deserving of home ice advantage. Backed-up in net by the solid Jose Theodore and piloted by Sergei Gonchar, the Blades may just continue their season long success. The Ice on the other hand are the TFHL's Scotsmen - stingy, stingy, stingy. The best defensive team in the league, they finished the season with 13 less goals against than the second most defensive team. Of course lack of goals could ice the Ice, but unless Theodore can win the series by himself, the Ice should have this one. Ice in six.